I lost 10 pounds in the week after I left my last job. It’s not about my weight or the numbers on the scale - it’s about how my stress hormones had been telling me something was wrong and was guarding my body against it. This was a stressful finance job where we had to work crazy hours for the sake of optics. I didn’t feel like a person. While I look for something less demanding (even if it pays less) I’m socializing for the first time in ten years. People are nicer than I remember.
I am a stay-at-home mom whose kids are in school full-time. I am constantly juggling the needs of myself and others, trying to balance always doing something with feeling too lazy, like I should be doing something, anything really. And I'm exhausted. Like, my brain is just exhausted by it! I keep trying to figure out how best to balance the things I want, nay need, to do for myself with the things I want to do for my family. My neurodivergent brain wants one of two modes: a minute-by-minute schedule or absolutely no schedule at all. We're quickly approaching summer break, when my kids will be home all the time. Here's to hoping I can stay sane for the next 12 weeks!
Ahm okay Kackie, making me teary eyed first thing in the morning reading this, wth?!! Jokes aside, I feel very seen by your words. I'm always trying to optimize my life, and have burnt myself out in the process more times than I want to admit. I will be returning to this a few times as a reminder to slow tf down ❤️
I just finished my PhD in biomedical engineering. I think it’s funny that the idea you mention of someone hiring you because they don’t have time to do everything is a given in academia but people have trouble applying it to it any kind of job. Despite this, most academics (including myself) work incredibly hard because their productivity is directly linked to their curiosity and desire to learn and grow. This piece really resonates with me right now because I am relearning how to be comfortable with silence and to truly experience boredom, which are both wonderful experiences we are lucky to have when they happen. Not EVERY second needs to be spent working and moments shouldn’t be considered “wasted” and filled with guilt if we are not reaching some goal. Definitely a work in progress but not towards an “optimized” version of my life 💕
If our life is a mechanically optimized experience how can we grow and learn and experience joy?
Seriously, SO agree that at some point, “optimising” for productivity, self-improvement etc. becomes pointless and toxic. I’m still learning to take back some personal agency on my time and energy. Thank you for this timely reminder!
I lost 10 pounds in the week after I left my last job. It’s not about my weight or the numbers on the scale - it’s about how my stress hormones had been telling me something was wrong and was guarding my body against it. This was a stressful finance job where we had to work crazy hours for the sake of optics. I didn’t feel like a person. While I look for something less demanding (even if it pays less) I’m socializing for the first time in ten years. People are nicer than I remember.
Awww 🥺🥺🥺
Thank you for so succinctly and eloquently writing down the thoughts that run through my brain on a regular basis. You are a brilliant writer!
Thank you so much!!
I am a stay-at-home mom whose kids are in school full-time. I am constantly juggling the needs of myself and others, trying to balance always doing something with feeling too lazy, like I should be doing something, anything really. And I'm exhausted. Like, my brain is just exhausted by it! I keep trying to figure out how best to balance the things I want, nay need, to do for myself with the things I want to do for my family. My neurodivergent brain wants one of two modes: a minute-by-minute schedule or absolutely no schedule at all. We're quickly approaching summer break, when my kids will be home all the time. Here's to hoping I can stay sane for the next 12 weeks!
Ahm okay Kackie, making me teary eyed first thing in the morning reading this, wth?!! Jokes aside, I feel very seen by your words. I'm always trying to optimize my life, and have burnt myself out in the process more times than I want to admit. I will be returning to this a few times as a reminder to slow tf down ❤️
Aw! Glad it resonated ☺️❤️
I just finished my PhD in biomedical engineering. I think it’s funny that the idea you mention of someone hiring you because they don’t have time to do everything is a given in academia but people have trouble applying it to it any kind of job. Despite this, most academics (including myself) work incredibly hard because their productivity is directly linked to their curiosity and desire to learn and grow. This piece really resonates with me right now because I am relearning how to be comfortable with silence and to truly experience boredom, which are both wonderful experiences we are lucky to have when they happen. Not EVERY second needs to be spent working and moments shouldn’t be considered “wasted” and filled with guilt if we are not reaching some goal. Definitely a work in progress but not towards an “optimized” version of my life 💕
If our life is a mechanically optimized experience how can we grow and learn and experience joy?
Absolutely! We have to leave room for wonder
You have so eloquently captured what my brain has been trying to gather into a meaningful thought I can chew and digest - thank you dear. Truly. ❤️
Thank you!!
Seriously, SO agree that at some point, “optimising” for productivity, self-improvement etc. becomes pointless and toxic. I’m still learning to take back some personal agency on my time and energy. Thank you for this timely reminder!
Your therapist needs help
You are an old soul in a young body my dear.